Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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