I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
