it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
