Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
