Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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