I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize