it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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