fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
