I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
