the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
