You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
