Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
