ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
