Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
