Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
