We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
