My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
