I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
