He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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