I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize