Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
