Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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