My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
