I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize