Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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