Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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