hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
