he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
