I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
