Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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