I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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