Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
