he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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