she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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