garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
