Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
