your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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