dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
