I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
