Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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