We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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