I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
