good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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