so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize