If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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