I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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