Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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