we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I supernannyed him into submission
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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