there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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