I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
