I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
