Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
