is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
