I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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