Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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