College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He better not be in your backpack
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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