I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
