But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
