i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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