The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
